What Squaredancing Means To Me

I first heard of gay square dancing just as I was first coming out in college. A friend related the story of her grandmother's visit to San Francisco. My friend's brother was a gay man living in San Francisco with his partner, and his grandmother had decided to visit them one year.

A kind, straight woman from a small town in Wisconsin, the grandmother loved all her grandchildren unconditionally, regardless of their sexual orientation. When my friend's brother and his partner found out that Grandma was visiting during Pride Weekend, however, they were a little bit afraid that some of the more colorful activities of the event might offend her sensibilities. She expressed an interest in attending the parade though, so my friend's brother tried to prepare her for what they might encounter.

Always polite and tolerant, Grandma sealed her lips as her eyes boggled at some of the sights of the Pride parade; my friend's brother began to worry that perhaps she was overwhelmed, but then, groups of men square dancing paraded down the street. Grandma, a square-dance enthusiast for years, clapped her hands in delight to the beat and followed the gay square dancers all the way to the end of the parade. She still talks about the "nice men square dancing" to this day!

When my friend shared her story about gay square dancing, I thought it sounded like a lot of fun; the thought of gay square dancing was just a spark of interest, however. I carried on doing other things, not thinking much of gay square dancing again. A few years later I moved to San Francisco. As a young, new dyke in town, I felt a little disconnected from any community, but especially from the queer community here-I felt naive and vanilla compared to the other queers I was meeting in the city.

A few months after I moved here, my roommate and I attended the Castro Street fair. Awed by the rich fabric of the community, I hoped to find a way I could become more involved. As I wandered through the streets, I stumbled upon eight men and women dancing to a caller.

My roommate rolled her eyes, but I made her stop and watch with me for a few minutes. A friendly man at a table next to the exhibition noticed my interest and gave me information about upcoming classes. Gay square dancing sounded interesting and accessible, a few weeks later I joined my first class taught by Ron Masker, the nice man at the booth at Castro Street Fair.

Since joining my first gay square dancing class, gay square dancing has become an important part of my routine. Dancing provided an easy way to meet and interact with other people in the community, while having a good time and getting some exercise. Learning and keeping track of new calls is an intellectual challenge as much as a physical one, as is keeping track of other people in your square to make sure that the entire group successfully follows the calls and ends up in the right formations.

Dancing, unlike a competitive team sport, is cooperative, and while we share a certain amount of frustration sometimes, we also enjoy a fun release of energy. Even when I'm feeling tired from a hard weekend or a long Monday at work and going to class sounds like the last thing I need, I am always glad I made myself go, because I leave class feeling ten times better. Although I'm often the only woman in class and usually one of the youngest dancers, I am welcomed into any dancing square graciously, and made to feel like I belong.

Gay square dancing has helped me feel more connected to the queer community and to other people, but most importantly, it's made me feel more confident about myself. After completing the basic and mainstream class in May, I joined the dancers who danced in the Pride Parade this year.

When I first came to San Francisco only a little more than a year ago, participating in the Pride Parade would have been an impossibility for me, but being part of the gay square dancing community gave me the perfect way to celebrate my pride!